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Unfortunately, it’s not possible to undo any of those things, and your potential partner will have to learn how to live with his or her past choices – and so will you.
The fact is that you can’t know the answer to that question in advance.The better you understand how chronic drug use changes the brain, how triggers work, and how addiction is most effectively treated, the more capable you will be of identifying whether or not you and someone in recovery are a good fit. Some months, it may seem like there is little focus at all on your partner’s addiction history or urges to drink or get high. Similarly, certain situations will not be acceptable to someone in recovery.Attending parties at clubs or even toasting a celebration may not be an option for your potential partner, which means that in order to be supportive, you may need to bow out early or bow out completely as well. Addiction can be the impetus for people doing some pretty horrible things – things that they likely would not have done otherwise.When one person is in recovery, too much dependency on another person can be a trigger for relapse, especially if the relationship hits a snag or there is any threat to the relationship’s survival.However, if you are independent and have boundaries that you can and will maintain – and your potential partner is equally strong – then this could be a functional as well as a happy relationship.