Dating as an acoa allbbwdating
You sense that something’s wrong, but you don’t know what.It can be a relief to realize that some of your struggles are common among ACOAs.You’re incredibly hard on yourself and struggle to forgive or love yourself.During childhood, you came to believe that you’re fundamentally flawed and the cause of the family dysfunction.Some struggle with alcohol or other addictions themselves. Addicts are often unpredictable, sometimes abusive, and always checked-out emotionally (and sometimes physically).You never knew who would be there or what mood they’d be in when you came home from school. There may have been a lot of overt tension and conflict.As a child, your partner may have had the following characteristics: On the other hand, your partner may have swung to the other end of the spectrum, trying to make everything perfect, being the peacemaker in the family, striving for perfectionism, taking on adult responsibilities, and denying their own needs in favor of protecting the alcoholic parent.
This leads to controlling behaviors in your relationships.
A sudden change of plans or anything that feels out of your control can trigger your anxiety and/or anger. It’s natural to close off your heart as a form of self-protection. You hold back emotionally and will only reveal so much of your true self.
This limits the amount of intimacy you can have with your partner and can leave you feeling disconnected.
It also leaves you highly sensitive to criticism and conflict.
You work hard, always trying to prove your worth and make others happy.