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At first, Adam's criticism was fairly mild (though still annoying).As time went on, however, Adam became very sarcastic, saying things like, "Don't you think you've outgrown halter tops?: Grace quickly saw that Adam was someone who was easily deflated.He was quick to make self-deprecating remarks like, "That was pretty stupid," or even, "What a loser!And unlike her previous two boyfriends, Adam at least had a steady job and was faithful to her.So when the lease on the condo that she was renting was up, Grace put her furniture in storage and moved in with Adam. It started with Adam finding fault with Grace: from the way she cooked and dressed to the way she spoke and the opinions she expressed.No one would say that they set out to get into a relationship with an insecure man. In fact, an insecure man can be especially tempting to you, particularly if your last relationship was with a narcissistic man who was all about himself and not so interested in you, or a predatory man who was happy to let you support him.Viewed through the eyes of a woman who has been burned in a one of these relationships, an insecure man may seem sensitive and interested in you.

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Some men, like Adam, are so severely insecure that it might be impossible to have a viable relationship with them. But here’s the rub: When a man is dealing with low self-esteem, he’ll make mistakes. My shame and low self-esteem led me to become reckless. Luckily, there were several reliable methods: nonstop partying, irresponsible sex, starting businesses, spending lots of money, exotic traveling. It’s Feeling guilty or embarrassed about who you are, deep in your core. Damaged or flawed in fundamental, irreversible ways. Your man may never admit it outright – but he wishes he were someone else. We’re stuck in this skin forever, and the hate, the self-pity – it gets us nowhere." Then, at times, Adam could get explosively angry, shouting, throwing things, and calling Grace crude, demeaning names.To make matters worse, the more Grace tried to live up to Adam's standards in order to avoid making him angry, the less it seemed to take to get him to the point where he would explode.

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