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Remember, however, any supposedly targeted posts may be imagined by you; try not to pore over everything they post for codewords or plot holes, like a , it’s human nature.Don’t tell me you never sat on a conference call googling Sam or Ella from the Hong Kong office to see whether they were hot.Will this window into their world enrich your relationship or destroy it?I don’t have any official figures on this, but I imagine many smouldering hearts are bluntly doused by a poorly worded caption, shirtless poses, witless #sponcon, over-filtering, the permanently puckered pout and matching ironic eye-roll – why ruin this for yourself?Or, you made friends on Instagram, hooked up, but noticed they’re big on Twitter and are dying to @ them.Or maybe, for reasons I’m sure are clear to you, you’re desperate to see what their racist aunt comments under their profile pics, and wish to friend them on Facebook. What will it add to your life to know where the person you had sex with twice – once at theirs, once at yours and, if you’re counting, a kind of halfway affair at a party – goes for eggs Benedict, or what kind of outsized pool inflatable they favour on their holidays?

It's not actually about when can you, but at the weekend...” – or more direct: “I had a brilliant time at X; the pics are on my Insta, have a look.” You will now pretend you have never heard of social media, but ask for their username anyway. If you don’t have a conversation like this after, say, a good month or so of chatting over any medium, maybe they’re assessing how many of their old tweets they need to delete, or perhaps they’d prefer you as an “IRL” person, so they can pass off the jokes they see on Twitter as their own.

” You’re staking your claim, making your intentions known.

If they follow you back or – jackpot – like and comment on your posts, or start tailoring content to you, you’re onto a winner.

” conversation – always a huge thrill for anyone sitting within three tables of you – and a subsequent exchange of details. If you’re taking selfies together, it’s a social expectation you’ll be tagged, a tacit exchange of following permissions.

There’s no acceptable time limit: probably around date five or six, but thirstier types may make it to the second round of pina coladas on your first meeting – being tagged or photographed for someone else’s socials supersedes all other societal norms.

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